Conversation Starter

If there's one thing that works in women's lives, it's talking. We love to talk about everything, even talking about talking (how many times have you said to your man or estranged friend: 'we don't talk anymore?') In my own life, talking has literally saved my life as much as it has gotten me into a lot of trouble at times. I'm one of those people for whom the gift of the gab is a life force. If I'm not talking, I'm dying. People closest to me know that if I'm quiet, then there's something terribly wrong. People I know, have come to know and don't know come up to me and talk to me. Unnannounced, some unknown and never met, they just feel comfortable enough to tell me things they wouldn't normally say to other people - things they'd be too afraid to say in their own lives.

In return, I love using their life stories as wisdom nuggets to other people that I meet and in my own life. It's amazing just how much knowledge and answers are out there, if we're willing to listen. I guess that's the point of why I've started this blog, really. To publish stories and conversations I have that change my life, impact, inspire me or touch me in any way. I hope you'll enjoy it, subscribe to it, check it out every once in a while and most importantly share you own stories too.



Lelethu

Things We're Too Afraid To Say

I am sitting on the balcony of an intimate guesthouse in a remote part of the world. In this world, the only truths are the foamed blue-green sea whose waves I can just catch a glimpse of over the neighbour’s roof; the road that leads up and down, in and out of this town; the two restaurants that are closed on Monday nights and the Parisian-meets-Victorian décor of my room - a sweet duplicity that I could be in Provence, France right now. It’s pure bliss – my phone is off and the only connection I have to the world is when I switch my laptop and 3G on. And when I’m done with the outside world and Facebook, with one click, I can switch my solitude back on again.
‘This is the life I’ve always wanted,’ I think serenely as I walk down the beach. My mind empties of life’s troubles, and almost immediately, it is flooded by things I have been too busy or too tired or couldn’t care less to think about – thoughts I didn’t even know I had anymore! Suddenly, all of them are there, waiting, like irate patients at the doctor’s rooms, to be attended to. What?! At which point, did getting away from things secretly translate into coming face to face with them?
In tears beneath my oversized sunnies, (and looking very much like a ‘rehabbie’ to residents taking evening walks along the beach), I wonder, how I, the expert emotion manipulator (my own) get to this point, where those uncomfortable feelings couldn’t be airbrushed with a satisfyingly exhausting shopping spree or a gloriously inebriating night out with the girls? At this moment, I succumb to the fact that I am here to be. The lights are being switched off in my life and in doing this, my internal truth is about to be unearthed. So I spoke to other women, from New York to Jozi about their blackout moments and what it taught them.Check out these conversations in Studio 83 magazine's The Blackout Issue on www.studio83.co.za as well as in the following blogs.

The first one is titled: 'I am stronger than I give myself credit'
Lelethu

Things We're Too Afraid To Say - I'm stronger than I give myself credit

'I have been trying to avoid thinking about how, a month ago, a very good male friend of mine tried to rape me. I have never felt such betrayal from one person in my whole life. Someone I had trusted and thought that they cared and respected me, turned around and did something so despicable and low.
I felt so dirty, like I did not even belong in my own body. To make matters worse this happened in my own house so I could not even stand to be there. All I wanted to do after it happened was crawl out of my skin and remove my self from my life, I could not bear to be alone so I moved out of my place and went to go stay with a friend. The whole thing started taking a toll on my work life because I could not concentrate in the office and I was suffering from panic attacks.That’s was probably the most scariest thing in the world as you feel like you’re going to die and the world is closing in on you. My sleep aslo started getting affected, causing my insomnia to come back. I eventually decided to go back to my house because I decided that I was tired of being a victim.The first day back was the hardest. I was sitting by myself (I live alone) and I was faced with the silence and me. This alone time made me confront what had happened and to think about it. I realised from this that I must start taking an active role in my life, that yes, bad thing happen and it’s not right and that I couldn’t change it or control it, but the one thing I could control was the way I reacted to it.
I could chose to be sad and let the creeping depression that I could feel coming on take over me or I could wake up every morning and chose to be happy.I could choose to be afraid and not want to stay in my house and let the negative memory drive me out, or I could stay there and start to create newer happier memories filled with things that made me feel good and at peace.'